So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
My ass is underappreciated
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
