mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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