I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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