she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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