the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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