You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
