i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
should my penis look like a turkey
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
