Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
