The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
