Cold hands, warm shart.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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