I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
