just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
