Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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