Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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