He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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