I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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