i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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