we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
