My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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