So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Damn victory sex feels great
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
