Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
May the power of my ass compel you!!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize