you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
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