Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
