I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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