i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
