OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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