I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
