I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
