why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I want to fling myself into the sun
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
