My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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