Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
