shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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