literally had 100 drinks last night.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
its liver damage thursday
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize