Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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