I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
