you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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