Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
