Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
