He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
