Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
