I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
