Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
