she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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