I want to stick my p in your. b.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
