This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
