the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
