I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize