he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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