She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
