i don't like sucking hair
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
