Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
