Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
