At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
