That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
