my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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