Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
