'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
