He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
