Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
